things couples should say or do
Real-Life Happy Couples Say That These 12 Things Can Bring You Bliss
In the beginning, relationships can be easy. They’re new and exciting. You put your best foot forward. You flatter, flirt, and have fun! However, as you become more comfortable, you may also become more complacent. For those wondering how to be happy in a relationship for the long-haul, we spoke with happy couples, both young and old, to find out how they stay blissful over time!
Be Generous With Compliments and Small Gestures
In case you didn’t know, one of the secrets to long-lasting happiness is giving to others. Research shows that happy people become happier and more grateful when they engage in regular acts of kindness. Termed the ‘counting kindnesses intervention’, when couples make a conscious effort to be more aware of their own kind behavior, they are proven to have a better life satisfaction.
Happy couples note that they take the time to compliment their partner and to do small things to make their partner’s life easier. These can include:
Doing a chore that their partner hates
Prepping their significant other’s morning beverage
Bringing home dessert from their spouse’s favorite spot
Planning a surprise date night in the middle of the week
Getting the kids ready for school so their significant other can sleep in for a few extra minutes
Acknowledging their partner’s amazing impact in their life to others
Telling their partner thank you for the things that are normally taken for granted, such as:
Mowing the lawn
Doing the laundry
Handling the kids
Learn Each Other’s Love Languages
Dr. Gary Chapman, a veteran marriage counselor, developed a theory that there are five love languages – physical touch, spending quality time together, words of affirmation, engaging in acts of service, and receiving gifts. These are the ways that people give and recieve love.
Need to Know
It’s likely that your partner’s love language doesn’t match yours, and that’s okay. What is important is that you determine your preferences and those of your partner so that you can connect on a deeper level and avoid conflict.
Why does all this matter? Let’s say your love language is spending quality time together, but your partner’s language is gifts. If he brings home a bouquet of flowers and you don’t make a big show over the gesture, he may assume that you are ungrateful. In the same respect, he may come home from work and retreat to the den to play video games, leaving you feeling neglected.
Happy couples stress that by knowing what matters most to your partner, you can make more meaningful gestures, ensuring that your actions are noticed and match what makes them feel most loved.
Find Hobbies to Enjoy Together
When you date, it’s exciting to try new and different things because you’re eager to spend time with your person. However, once you become comfortable, it’s easy to let your significant other go off to enjoy their favorite pastimes solo, while you engage in something you find more interesting.
If you want to know how to be happy in a relationship, another key to success is enjoying time together! Happy couples note that if you don’t have a present pastime that you both find interesting, find a new one that you can share together.
Need to Know
Hobbies can be as involved as playing pickleball every week or as simple as playing canasta together on your iPads while sitting in the same room. All that matters is that both of you like the activity and that you make time to do it regularly.
Continue to Learn About Each Other
Humans are complex creatures. We change over time. ‘How was your day?’ isn’t enough. Happy couples don’t just want to run through the motions. They want to continuously connect with their person and learn what makes them tick. What do they dream about? What are their career goals? What skills do they wish they had? What do they want to change about their life?
One of the best ways to be happy in a relationship is to fully invest in it. Ask the tough questions and inquire about random topics.
Don’t Stew – Speak Up When Issues Arise
What do couples do in a relationship when problems arise? Many of those who have a solid foundation say the same thing – they voice their issues when they come up and they do so in a calm and collected manner. It’s important to remember that just because something makes you angry doesn’t mean you need to yell.
Asking your partner to take a break from what they are doing to have a discussion or help you with a task may seem like an inconvenience, but it can be one of the easiest ways to alert them to your needs and facilitate change.
Need to Know
Your partner is not a mind reader. Staying silent is only doing yourself a disservice. Moreover, huffing and puffing or slamming doors when you want attention when you are upset can make your partner less receptive to an open and constructive conversation. Just be upfront and state your needs.
Pick Your Battles
When it c