Intimate Questions to Ask Your Partner for a Deeper Bond
70+ Intimate Questions to Ask Your Partner for a Deeper Bond
From all the juicy details about their fantasies to what they dream about for your future together, these are the conversations that will bring you closer.
When people hear the word “intimate,” they often think that it only relates to bedroom conversation, but intimate questions can cover a much wider spectrum. They can concern anything from your childhood dreams to how your partner pictures your future together. You can learn juicy new details about one another and strengthen your bond by sharing parts of yourselves.
There are lots of intimate questions to ask your lover about an array of topics. Find out how they might describe you to someone else, their favorite ways to express love, what they might like to change in your relationship, and lots more. These questions are just the beginning of meaningful conversations that will bring you closer together.
How to Ask Intimate Questions to Build Your Bond
How you ask a question matters almost as much as what you ask. Set the right tone with these tips:
Don’t just spring the question your partner. Instead, make it part of a conversation.
Create a routine where you and your partner each choose a question off the list to ask one another. You can do this regularly.
If you’re hoping to ask your partner a really juicy question, be prepared to reveal something too. Intimacy comes from both people being vulnerable.
Find a quiet time when you won’t be interrupted. Deep conversations require some privacy.
According to The Gottman Institute, some of the key ways to help build intimacy in a relationship are to connect emotionally, increase intimate communication, show appreciation, and be vulnerable with one another. Asking your partner meaningful questions is one way to do these things and may help you connect with your partner and build your relationship.
General Attraction Questions to Ask Your Partner
There are some things that you just want to know, even though they can’t be confined to a single category. These are the things about preferences, how you talk about one another to others, and maybe even a wish or two thrown into the mix of questions to ask your girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner.
What is the first thing you noticed about me?
What role does physical attraction play in whether or not you pursue a relationship?
What type of scent do you like on a person?
Would you say you have a “type”? Do I fit what you thought you were looking for?
How do you describe me to other people?
How do you think I should describe you to other people?
What could I do for you that I don’t do now?
What is the first thing you think when you see me?
What qualities make me special to you?
Do you look at other men (women)?
If you could have three wishes from me, what would they be?
What goals do you have for us?
What was the first thing you thought when you met me?
How would you respond if my appearance drastically changed, either overnight (new haircut and different hair color, for example) or over time (more/less muscle, weight gain/loss)?
What is something you think is true about me, but you’ve never asked to confirm?
How big of a deal are special occasions for you?
Deep Questions for Couples to Build Emotional Intimacy
Building your emotional connection often involves choosing to be vulnerable with one another. We’re talking really taking a risk here. Share your fears and worries and put yourself out there in a way that risks rejection. It can pay off big time in emotional intimacy if you’re vulnerable like that.
What were you afraid of as a kid? What are you afraid of now?
Do you ever worry about us breaking up? How can I help you feel better?
What kinds of things make your heart skip a beat? Am I one?
What do you worry about at night?
What was the last dream you had about me?
In what ways are you still a child inside?
What’s something you haven’t told me because you’re afraid I might judge it?
How do you think being hurt has made you more or less willing to be vulnerable in a relationship?
What part of yourself do you not love but need me to love?
How can I make you feel emotionally safe?
What’s the first thing you remember as a kid? How did you feel in that memory?
Questions About the Past
Before you can move forward with your partner, you want to know about their past. If you’re planning to be intimate or stay together for a long time (maybe even get married), you should feel comfortable asking anything you feel you should know or whatever you’re curious about. Remember, asking these questions will open the gate to your past as well.
Have you ever cheated on a partner? If not, have you considered it but changed your mind?
How many past partners have you had?
Did you debate whether or not to ask me out? Why would you have chosen not to?
What were you thinking on our first date?
Have you ever been in love before me? Will you tell me about that perso